Roadmap to Intentional Dating
When considering a potential romantic relationship, it’s important to look at your own needs for love. Understand if the particular person you’re interested in has the capacity and ability to meet those needs; either presently or in the near future with some guidance. I say this because it’s easy to become emotionally invested in the potential of a person or situation with no consideration for the present reality. This can lead to a distorted view of things and can prevent us from making sound decisions based on what is actually happening in the here and now.
As you walk into intentional dating the idea is to understand the person of interests existing values, principles, morals and expectations (both present and future). Instead of trying to mold someone to fit your ideals, the focus shifts to recognizing and honoring how individuals define themselves as well as considering their future aspirations. Evaluate these factors and consider if they align with your values, offerings, principles, morals and expectations (both present and future). Too often we get stuck in the basics of dating, such as: attraction, companionship and chemistry. These are factors that happen naturally while understanding who someone is and how they compliment your life (educationally, religiously, relationally).
Questions for Intentional Dating
While we know that intentional dating focuses on making choices that align with your values and objectives it can be difficult to identify what falls within your expectations without becoming inflexible. Therefore, here are a list of questions that allow you to explore yourself a bit more as you navigate your dating season. Theses questions are meant to help you focus your attention towards yourself to depict what influences your dating habits and prevents potential connection. These set of questions get you started on your end on what you can control…which is you.
Do I have clarity about myself that help me understand why I am choosing this person such as values, goals and principles?
Your values, goals, and principles can offer a deeper understanding of why you are drawn to a particular individual. When we have clarity about ourselves, we are better equipped to recognize the alignment or dissonance between our own core aspects and those of the person we are choosing.
Are there people or factors that are influencing my choice? If so, how?
When making a decision, it's essential to consider the various people and factors that may be influencing your choice. Take a moment to reflect on who or what is impacting your decision-making process, and consider how their input may be shaping your perspective.
Does this person compliment me, such as do they align with your values?
When considering a person, it is important to evaluate whether they compliment you and align with your values. It's crucial to assess if they share similar principles and outlooks, as this can greatly impact the dynamics of your relationship.
While exploring yourself is crucial, examining your fears and expanding on your choice to choose a particular person is just as crucial.
What fears come up that make it hard to choose this individual?
Sometimes, the fear of getting hurt again can make it difficult to open up to someone new. Past experiences may create hesitancy and doubt, making it challenging to fully embrace the potential for a new relationship. It's important to acknowledge these fears and work through them in order to make a clear and confident decision when choosing a partner.
What factors am I taking into consideration as the basis for my ultimate decision?
Internal Motivation: Consider your internal motivation for the decision. Are you acting out of fear, anger, or a genuine desire for growth and fulfillment?
Emotional Impact: Reflect on the emotional toll of the decision. How will it make you feel in the short and long term? Acknowledging and addressing your emotional responses can lead to a decision aligned with your well-being.
Gut Feeling: Pay attention to your intuition. Sometimes, a gut feeling can provide valuable guidance, especially when all rational factors seem balanced.
What potential consequences and benefits are evaluated when considering the decision to choose this person?
Potential Consequences:
1. Mismatched Values: One potential consequence could be a mismatch in values, leading to conflict and a lack of cohesion in working together or being in a relationship.
Emotional Strain: Another consequence could be emotional strain if the person has a history of unreliability, deceit, or manipulation. This could contribute to stress and interpersonal issues.
Potential Benefits:
Complementing Strengths: Choosing the right person can lead to a synergy of skills and strengths, allowing for better collaboration and improved outcomes.
Emotional Support: In a personal context, the right person can provide emotional support, understanding, and companionship, enriching one's life and contributing to overall well-being.